ivana krushya

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 20:09:26 GMT

i got two new pairs of shoes.

who wants to watch me tap dance?

ew

Mon, 05 Jun 2006 03:41:12 GMT

Fucking high school bullshit that I can't even deal with.

I graduated six years ago and don't plan on going back now.

Not to mention I stopped smoking weed so now I can't even get high.

The end.

plus/minus

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 01:36:42 GMT

+full belly
-not smoking weed
+lots and lots of text messages
-no livejournal friends

*why do i use this thing anyway??

i'm back here now too

Sat, 13 May 2006 22:50:43 GMT

after a brief haitus.

ok.

so.

get me some motivation.

myspace

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 17:30:23 GMT

i deleted it.

i almost cried.

but didn't.

today feels like

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 19:17:57 GMT

Your sentry-men fall behind

You're wasting my time like many crosswords do.
You're breaking the line you just tripped over
Everytime

Your sentry-men fall behind
Into the sunspots we vanish away . . .

You're falling in time like penny dreadfuls do.
Tripped over the line (again)
That's two for flinching.
I'd pay anyone 20 bucks just to do that
Cause everything in this place is freezing
Except for the sound.
It's just a thing that I carry around.

Into the sunspots we vanish away . . .

Saw your face in the mirror said 3 times.

I fly . . .

melodies

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 02:46:19 GMT

i've got two.

you want to hear them don't you.

boy and painter just need music now and i'm working on that.

Funk = Gone

Thu, 23 Mar 2006 15:16:30 GMT

Yup.

Funk is gone.

Amen for that.

better than yesterday

Mon, 20 Mar 2006 00:19:03 GMT

today is still rough.

better than last night though.

i was all telling everyone i was fine.

but i wasn't.

held back the tears for the most part.

anyway. it's been a pretty boring weekend with the exception of friday night. i went to the fall out boy concert. i think i was the oldest one there. oh well. they rock.

stayed in the rest of the weekend which was fine because i really didn't want to go out anyway. i wrote some more lyrics and have music too. i might post that in the next few days not sure yet. got the $$ for my new guitar so i am going to go buy that next weekend i believe.

so yup. that is the update.

good luck and goodnight.

it's like this

Sun, 19 Mar 2006 01:57:29 GMT

I'm sleeping my way out of this one
With anyone who will lie down
I'll be stuck fixated on one star
When the world is crashing down

I keep telling myself
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type
But you've got me looking in through blinds
I keep telling myself
I keep telling myself
I'm not the desperate type

Sitting out dances on the wall
Trying to forget everything that isn't you
I'm not going home alone
Cause I don't do too well
Sitting out dances on the wall
Trying to forget everything that isn't you
I'm not going home alone
Cause I don't do too well on my own

The only thing worse than not knowing
Is you thinking that I don't know
I'm having another episode
I just need a stronger dose

Show and Tell (x2)

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 16:07:24 GMT

"why did I try to dismantle a boy who was never assembled in the first place"

Don’t worry little one;
This will only hurt for a second.
I'll mend your heart with strings of love;
I think I might need two.

I look alive;
I'm dying inside.
I never really got to hold onto you;
I loved you at all the wrong times.

It won't mean a thing in a hundred years.

My pillow holds the lonely tears;
I've lost my defenses.
Reality hits hard hits fast;
Deadened all my senses.

And you don't know how I'll take it.

Carry on my love;
I'll mend my heart with stitches.
Maybe you'll turn this way;
But I'm not asking you to stay.

"A Painters Guide to Drowning"

I only dream when I'm awake;
It's all become more than I can take.
I am not blaming this on you;
But you can't say it's not your fault.

Maybe you were the wrong choice;
All these years;
All these fears;
Somewhere along the way I lost my voice.

I'm shadowless like silence;
Watching from afar.
I never asked to be special;
I just wanted to be myself.

I woke up to a nightmare;
Can't see in the confusion.
I want to break the cycle;
It's the same old f*ed up game.

I'm alone (but I hold on);
You have left (but I'm okay).
The fog is clearing (now i can see);
I only dream when I'm awake.

*both songs: sarah faith 2006

tired.tired.tired.

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 23:38:46 GMT

so i had today off.

it was a good day.

woke up late.

went to my doctors appointment.

came home.

heather cancelled plans due to new baby and zero hours sleep last night.

had an amazing grilled cheese with a side of ring dings.

i was online way too much today. like all day. oh wait, i am still on here.

good conversations though.

i forgot how crappy daytime t.v. was.

i slept through the latter part of the afternoon...from like 3:00 on.

still tired.

isn't that strange?

however, i am very much looking forward to this weekend!

bowling and drinks on friday night.

jaeger and redbulls on saturday night.

guitar shopping on sunday.

yesh, it's going to be a good one.

dates!

Sun, 05 Mar 2006 17:00:23 GMT

Ok, so here's the deal...if you fit the below description let me know and heck, we can go on dates! haha

Requirements (these are non negotiable and in no particular order):

Must not use the term of endearment "hun."
Clean socks.
Must not be morbidly obese...height/weight ratio must be proportionate
5'11" and taller (hey! I like to wear heels!).
No man boobs.
Enjoy Bruins games.
Play well with others.
Goals and Aspirations.
Enjoy long phone conversations.
Endless silliness.
Grammatical skills.
Nun chuck skills.
Similar interests.

Leverage if you...

have tattoos.
play the guitar.
sing to me.
have a foreign accent.
leave sweet myspace comments.
drink jack...and like it.
watch the history channel...and don't fall asleep.
can drive a stick shift.
play hockey.
have good teeth.

Not so hot if you...

do any hardcore drugs.
listen to crappy music a.k.a. screamo.
wear dingy socks.
hate hockey.
are a yankees fan.
don't like Jaeger.
are a cocky SOB (sorry to get so violent with that one) but seriously, if you are full of yourself, we cannot go on dates.
are involved in general shadiness and drama.
don't change your sheets regularly.

You can guarantee that that following will occur:

Silliness.
Giggling.
Me making fun of you.
Endless sarcasm and wit.
Total randomness.
A good time.

Just don't count on...

me liking you.
making out with me...or otherwise.
me calling you again.
a second date.

*no crazies need apply.

Oh, and of course...Good Luck!

...still waiting...

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 16:02:28 GMT

xxxlbs, alcohol units 0 (i am on a roll, 2 days in a row), calories 111.

Food Consumed Today
Small Hot Chocolate

10:48 a.m. Boston: at the office.

Still waiting for baby Julianna to be born...she needs to hurry up, I want to be a godmother already! I finished the hat, made one bootie and I am almost finished with the sweater. The blanket I fear will have to be given to her next week.

Girlfriend was an absolute riot last night. It's only been 2 weeks since I've seen her and she's doing so much more! Especially more talking! I love how when she sees me her whole face lights up...we have a good time together that girlfriend and I :) I cannot believe there is going to be another addition!

Oh yes...the daily train update...I was lazy as all lord knows what this morning and could not for the life of me fathom getting out of bed so I decided to take the commuter rail instead. At 7:05 I drove Becs to school and then came back to get ready. The train is at 8:05 and is about 5 min from my house. Because I still couldn't get my butt in gear I left the house at 7:58. At 8:00 as I was at the top of my street and I watched in horror as the train barricades went down and the commuter rail purple stripe whizzed by me in disbelief IT WAS 7 MINUTES EARLY who does that?! So I ended up having to drive to Quincy anyway to take the Red Line in which meant that I was a half an hour late for work! (I usually leave at 7:30 to get to the train station) Which means I only get a half a lunch today. Dang.

Chivalry is NOT dead...at least for today

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 14:52:07 GMT

xxxlbs(dont' think that you are going to find this out anytime soon), alcohol units 0, calories 427 (i ate another muffin.)

Food Consumed Today
Small Coffee Cream & Sugar
Blueberry Muffin

9:41 a.m. Boston: at the office

Ash Wednesday.

Go to Church, get your ashes and give something up for Lent. I am giving up two things and neither is going to be easy so please, don't tempt me.

My MBTA story of the Day:

On the Green Line this morning there was a woman in her 50's with a 2 year old in a stroller. We got to the Prudential stop and she started towards the door and out of nowhere comes this man who just picked up the front of the stroller, helped her off the train and said "have a great day." You don't see that often. Usually the people with strollers have a bugger of a time trying to get off the train. It was really nice to see that people still do nice things for people they don't know.

The Good Stuff

I did make it to the gym yesterday. Went after work and before the forum I was greeting for. My iPod is still all messed up so it was an interesting playlist. I got to listen to the same 4 songs about 5 times. Sweet. Last night wasn't anything all that special. Greeted. Stopped by my pal's. Ate dinner. Watched a bit of TV. Contemplated the bottle of wine sitting on my desk. Decided against it. Talked to a few peeps online for about a minute. Filled out another gay survey. Tossed around the idea posting my dating criteria on MySpace. Not really sure if I want to do that. Went to bed. Yah, I am the life of the party.

11:18 p.m. Abington: my room

Wed, 01 Mar 2006 04:19:20 GMT

yah so i'm going to bed and i don't want to do it alone. come visit.

WTF

Tue, 28 Feb 2006 16:19:46 GMT

xxxlbs(still not safe to say), alcohol units 0, calories i've stopped counting today.

Food Consumed Today
Small Tea with Milk and Sugar
Small Tea with Honey
Large Coffee Cake Muffin
Little Chocolate Heart (courtesy of evan)
Chix and Fries
Green Tea

10:38 a.m. Boston: at my desk:

Feeling much better today now that last nights ickyness has gone. That muffin this morning did not roll with my style though. 385 calories in a flipping muffin. I wish I knew that before I ate it! All fancied up today for work as I am greeting tonight for the Boston-Israel Business Forum that we are hosting here in the office. It's been awhile since I've worn an actual suit to work and I forgot how much I like that. No surprise though. I am obsessed with black heels. It's not going to be a good time having to get re-fancied up after the gym though. Have I mentioned how much I hate showering at the gym and then getting ready to come BACK to work?! I really enjoy going at lunch as it breaks up the day and I don't hit the 3:00 wall but the showering and getting ready again part sucks. Not to mention that "gym hair," as Karen and I so fondly call it, is worse than a blind man in an orgy.

3:04 p.m. Boston: at my desk:

I never made it to the gym at lunch. wtf. those chickens went straight to my bum. oh well. more cushion for the pushin!

This update is really just to let you all know that I hope the firm blocks us from MySpace…soon. I can’t stop. It’s like heroin but for my eyes. I resisted for so long and now well I’ve just thrown away the bowlines. I’d like to retain some dignity and not respond to bulletins the moment they appear in their neat little boxes with their times new roman font. I would like to resist the luscious red “New Messages” and the eye catching blue “New Comments” (or vice versa) but I can’t. So someone please fix my iPod and block MySpace. Life would be so much more complete.

27 February

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 16:33:41 GMT

xxxlbs (i'm not saying because i have not been to the gym in a week), alcohol units alot (this effectively covers this past weekends escapades), calories 1327 (gross).

Food Consumed Today:
Medium Tea with milk and sugar
Medium Hot Chocolate
Small Container of Beef Stew (from home)
1 Chocolate Covered Graham Cracker
3 Red Mike n Ikes
Meatloaf with Noodles
Ice Cream Sangwich
Couple of NewCastles

11:05 a.m. Boston: at my desk

so. I don't know what my deal was yesterday. some sort of funk or something. it's gone now and that's a very good thing. train ride into work today was horrendous!

there was a woman standing at the door who looks at me and says "i think i am going to pass out"
"would you like to sit?" (i give her my seat)
"i need some water."

all i have is a redbull and i am not thinking that will help her out, so in an attempt to not have her a.) pass out or b.) vomit on my shoes i ask the surrounding people "does anyone have any water?" i did not get the response i was looking for. everyone just looked at me funny.

at the next train stop i asked her if she wants to get off and she said she was feeling better. i think she just wanted my seat. at any rate i got off at downtown and walked to park street as i couldn't handle another minute of red line madness.

11:24 p.m. Abington: in my room

EasyOnFirstDate: we should go guitar shopping together

that makes me happy.

however, my evening at the ale house was less than stellar. actually, it sucked. oh well at least I got a few NewCastles out of the deal. along with a new lease on life.

this chickie is off to bed.

a little of this and that

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 18:24:27 GMT

i kind of like this live journal thing.

heck i don't even know if anyone reads this *ish but i guess it's good to just write it?

new guitar on friday v. excited about that. i need it. i need it bad. got a few new songs to work out as well. i know what i want it to sound like. gotta put that in action. it's gonna feel good.

h is having the baby on Friday! v. excited about that as well 2 girlfriends are better than one.

today feels like:

could it have been
anymore than what was had
a tender thought
a warm embrace
coming to an end
unrecognizable even to yourself
refusing to let them go
i don't need a hand to hold
i need a heart to love
i try to find a way
restrictions seem to bind

...and that's where we'll go from here...

sex.lies.videotape.

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 06:18:05 GMT

yesh

Sat, 25 Feb 2006 21:07:38 GMT

new little ditty to wear tonight.

where are you taking me?

you know how to get at me.

i love you like a fat kid loves cake.

i've got nothing left

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 21:17:51 GMT

45 min to go.

Then a train ride to Cambridge and a car ride from Cambridge to the South Shore.

The word "Panopticon" has been stuck in my head for like a week now and I have yet to find a sentance to use it in.

Also, I want one of these

Seen Here

if you're a bird, i'm a bird

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 17:06:02 GMT

last night was a flipping blast. honestly it's been a while since i've had that much fun. you could not wipe the smile off my face. dancing, drinking, laughing, flirting...it was good. really really good. and i'm still smilling.

saw kate play acoustic. she was amazing. amazing. amazing. i seriously could have listened to her play all night. such a good time. would love. love. love to see her play again.

i had a new skirt for the occassion so i was a bit fancied up. but i like fancied up. fancied up is good.

jack daniels and i had quite the love affair last night as well. got one spilled on me but that's ok. it was actually kind of funny.

tara did such a great job driving my car. i am quite proud of her. "CLUTCH" "OK GO" "It's in neutral, you can brake now!" Haha. we were quite the team.

the kells. i think i am way too old for that place. i had never been and i don't plan on going back. i would have rather been across the street. THAT looked fun! did get to shake my a$$ a bit though. gasolina.

...cinnacakes...chocolate chip pancakes...bacon...those delish tater things...iHop was great...i def needed that.

this morning jack kicked me out of the bed. that wasn't fun. george was a super sweetheart and dropped me off at work. i don't think i will ever be able to thank him enough. i know that i could not have done the green line this morning. i was just not ready for that.

a vitamin water, 2 poland springs and a couple of advils later we cool.

i am not too sure what's going on the rest of the weekend but get at a girl and let me know.

i love you like a fat kid loves cake.

that was good.

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 08:16:50 GMT

yeap.

drunktard. (great word, haven't used it in way too long)

flipping awesome chickie bands tonight.

jack daniels is my daddy.

tara. joshua. melissa. justin. pat.

great people.

great times.

shifting for tara while drunk.

allston.

yesh. it was someone's birthday. gasolina.

iHop and chocolate chip pancakes.

on a midnight train to georgia.

why don't you build me up?

bedtime now.

tomorrow will come too soon.

um..is this thing on?

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 20:37:58 GMT

so tired.

so so tired.

am i really going out again tonight?

yes.

yes i am.

redbull here i come.